A Unifying Theory

It is so simply and wonderfully paradoxical, to wonder if everyone else imagines that no one else imagines.

It alarms me how little I find the need to express. That isn't to say I'm expressionless, but rather that no matter how many thoughts and ideas run though my head, none seem to become anything more than neurons firing just to see themselves alight. Hours I have spent staring at blank pages yearning for words to be put to them, only to leave them wanting while distractions take station. I wish I could apologize to all the wonderful words that could have been combined and phrases left unturned. Say sorry to all the sentences silenced and soliloquies unsung. But no matter how grand the ideas are, they all seem so quaint when fully fleshed. Ideas that sum up so much of the world and what goes around me that, when written down, take on a dastardly vestige. What was once a source of pride - my thoughts and notions that seemed so new - repetitive and stale, like everything that had come before, and left out too long.

But, there is solace to find in this repeated action of deciding to start anew and finding no source of inspiration by which to continue. And that is, to imagine these issue widespread. To realize that, like you, I may never come up with something wholly original. Imagine that no one else can imagine, and realize that perhaps neither can you. Turn the focus inwards. What do you know? That even having these thoughts is evidence that you are thinking. If you are thinking, then perhaps, though the odds are stacked against you, that you will think something not yet thought. Then, take what others have thought, and apply those novel concepts into your very process of creating novel concepts. Eventually, it may dawn upon you. In order to provoke new ideas, the old ones must be shuffled out of the way. Having every thought first will ensure that what follows will be of the purest sorts.

The problem is that these are even goals. The problem is that these are even problems. We search so hard for overarching metaphors or simple phrases that will explain existence. There are no lines that complex. There are no books with answers that thorough. The real answer will come when every thought is finally had. As soon as the years of accumulated couplets and compositions are carried aside, and everything new can be allowed a space to be, perhaps then it will all come together. Maybe there is no unifying theory, or way to explain why there are things to explain. All we can do is work hard to get our minds to places of unique ideas, and finally be expressed.